you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
