Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Life is so much better after having sex.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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