There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
