Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
