I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
