Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
