i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
