I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
