I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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