Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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