Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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