Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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