Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
