But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
