Your face is a jimmy john
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
