Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
