operation harelip BJ is a go
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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