why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
