i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
