We're facebook friends in real life
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There's even glitter on my cock...
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