is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
