It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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