Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
