Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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