...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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