she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
that's an acceptable place to lick
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
