Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
