Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
