I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His hands were made for my vagina.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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