Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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