i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
