Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
