Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
