i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
