i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
