i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
