I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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