Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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