Yo dont text me then not text me
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Randomize