My room smells like vodka and shame
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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