i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think my moral compass just broke
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