he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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