You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize