Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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