i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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