Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
