Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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