im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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