Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
