dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
