Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she woke up with a sticky ear
he thought i was a dude.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
