...so i touched it.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize