names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
