He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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