yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
