They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
