In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
