Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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