it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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