Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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