You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Couch. On fire.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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