is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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