I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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